Friday, April 24, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
But sometimes I am embarrassed to admit it. Not because I am ashamed of Jesus Christ or what I believe, but because of all the connotations that come with the word, "Christian".
I love Jesus Christ, who He was and continues to be. I love that I have a real relationship with Him. I am in awe of the fact that even in my darkest times - my desperate, wandering times, His love for me continued. I love His kindness and compassion for mankind.
I don't love how many Christians act. I don't love how the church often acts. I don't love that so many people call themselves Christians, but really don't know anything about Jesus or who He is.
I grew up believing that "good" Christians didn't smoke, drink or swear. The really good ones didn't watch TV or listen to "secular" music. You went to church, read your Bible and tried really, really hard not to do anything bad.
Sometimes I wish I could give myself another title. I've always liked 'The Way'... "Follower of The Way". Sounds a little too out there, I guess. But I want people to know that I am in love with Jesus because of what He has done for me. He has erased my guilt, my shame. Shame that I felt as a result of my decisions. Jesus doesn't owe me a thing. But He frees me anyway. It took me a long time to accept that freedom. I knew that I was forgiven, but still felt like I had to carry around the shame that lingered. That it was my burden, my "lot in life" as a result of my decisions. When I finally learned that I could lose that load, that I didn't need to feel ashamed for being freed, even if I didn't deserve it, my life was changed. I can honestly say that I am a different person because of that freedom. In return, I love Him for that. And because I love Him, I want to obey Him. I'm not the best at it, but I try. I also know I could try a whole lot harder.
And that is what I want people to know.
I suppose I'll still call myself a Christian, and try not to cringe when I do. And since the only person I have any control over is myself, I guess I need to make sure that my life reflects what I believe. That I am sincere in my love for Him. That I am authentic. Forget what I think I am "supposed" to do, and follow Jesus' example, which he so freely lived.
Friday, April 17, 2009
(Found them at a favorite site of mine, Baking Bites. Check it out!)
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I realize my posts have not been witty or funny or all that interesting lately. That's because I'm too busy to be interesting. I go to work and baseball games. That's it. Angela Spann in a nutshell.
I used to be interesting. Creative. I lived a charmed life, where I stayed home with my kids, made crafts, did sewing projects, cleaned efficiently, cooked interesting & yummy meals. I made my own baby food, for crying out loud. Not so much, these days.
But the creative, witty and interesting Angela is trying to bust out. I can feel her. She needs to express herself. I just need to make time for her. That means getting up earlier, planning ahead, getting (and staying!) organized. Stressing less about work. My job my be full time on paper, but it only has part-time status on the priority list. Family & home come first. The papers on my desk will get taken care of eventually. I'm pretty dern good at my job, so I need to stop focusing so much on it and rely on my aptitude.
I'm going to organize my pantry, label something, get my sewing machine out and go crazy. Who knows what will happen. Maybe this blog will get interesting!!
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Kelly is on the road this week. They played Baylor last night and took a bit of a beating. They head to San Antonio today and will play a 3-game series starting tomorrow, bringing him home on Sunday morning.
I look forward to a long holiday weekend, with plans to take the kids to the zoo. Claire & Nolan are on Spring Break next week, as is the University. I don't get the week off, unfortunately, but will take it easy with a day or two off. Work has been crazy, as it always is this time of year, but the promise of graduation is on the horizon, which means slow summer schedules.
As I look out the window, it's a perfect Spring day, with an expected high of 79 degrees. I hope that wherever you are, you're experiencing Spring in all it's splendor and have the opportunity to celebrate & reflect on the love that was expressed by the ultimate sacrifice. Happy Easter!